'Kana paine pamakandichengetera baba ndokumbirawoo mugove wangu ndichiri kurarama tenzi tarirai ndosakadzwa sechipfeko nevanemari ndisina changuwooo… haaahaaa Karikoga Leaonard Zhakata mufana muhombe!"
Hats off to Zhakata! Mapombi loves his music and anotodawo mugove wake because anzwa nekukanga waya. By the way, Mapombi heard the man himself The President of the Republic Of Zimbabwe, the Commander of the Defence Forces, the Chancellor of all Universities who is also the First Secretary of the ruling party Zanu PF, the former chairperson of African Union (AU) and Southern African Development Committee (SADC), His Excellence President Robert Gabriel Mugabe was in the province, in Chiredzi to be precise.
Mapombi heard the old man descended at Tongaat Hulett to try and solve the land dispute but nothing, I mean nothing materialized. Minda vari kutora vachigovana pachiZanu Zanu isu vana Mapombi tichidya nhoko dzezvironda. Zanu PF is the only party with people who fought for this country so regai vawondonge nyika vega iyi. Let them destroy the economy, shut down industries and let them take even all the sugarcane farms belonging to Hippo Valley and Triangle Estates. Regai vatore zvese!
Kkkkkk but this time around Zanu PF iri pama1 – Civil Servants need their salaries and the coffers are dry. They have been reaping from the small companies forcing them to pay unreasonable taxes manje vanamuseyamwa vese vakavhara and the only companies that are operating belong to them. Kkkkkkk it's funny how things change vakomana, Mugabe chaiye chaiye kukonewa kutonga kanyaya keminda yenzimbe? Kkkkkkkk inga zvinhu zvinosanduka? We used to know kuti President havatangike when we were growing up kwedu kwaChirimudombo uko but haaa rangova zuru rakapinda nyoka. Even my all weather friends War Vets vongoita madiro naPresident. He tried to threaten them kutoti hee madissidents watch out kana kumbotya zvawo maWar Vet. Kkkkkkkk zvakapera zvekuvhundutsira mhembwe nemapaper akomana. Tipei zvedu minda yenzimbe tirime isu, by the way card remusangano ndinaroka and again, ndiri kuG40 asi ndozongodawo hangu Ngwena since ari homeboy kkkkkkk kekekeke kikikikik. Haya!
Anyway, Mapombi once asked if this province has a police boss. Mapombi is a gentleman kuvanza ini handigone. If he or she is there then Mapombi is very sure kuti ndofunga miviri yavo haisi kuita zvakanaka so, as you all know, the mouse is always in cloud nine when the cat is away. Tuma junior officer tunoita murambamhuru paCentral apo!
But honestly, Mapombi is very concerned about the number of our police officers at road blocks. Can you imagine 14 police officers manning road block yepaMucheke bridge apo every morning vamwe vobva vauyawo manheru! Haaa 14 here vakomana? I mean 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14! Haaa zvimwe muchiti munotamba imi. Aah nyaraiwo kani.
Mapombi was confused until she thought that there is a new organization called Zimbabwe Roadblock Police (ZRP) because it seems this organization operates on our roads mostly. Kkkkkk tora mari united!
It's unbelievable; they are everywhere go to Runyararo West as early as 05 O'clock in the morning unowana vatovako netuma torch. Kkkkk kutotenga netuma torch kkkkk. Apa chando hachinei nekuti watumwa nani, chinongokubvunza kumusha. Pakacar park kepaYeukai unowana vakaita kurimbirira paka gate kaye, uchibuda uchishandirwa. Even deep down in the rural areas in dust roads they are there. Villagers are busy losing their livestock to thieves but the police is busy manning road blocks in dust roads kunodarika zvima Ipsum and Noah zviviri after two hours kkkkk zvakaoma shuwa.
In towns residents are losing their property to robbers and burglars ivo varipo paMucheke bridge. Ungavadii? Hapana! Kkkkk this Zimabawe Road block Police iyi. Mapombi knows very well kuti there are sections dzakasiyana siyana but traffic is not the only section mhani! Isai vamwe kuCrime uko, vamwe kuVictim Friendly Unit (VFU) uko and even others to your Press department. Or should we change it to Zimbabwe Traffic Police (ZTP)? Hee? Ugoona some of these officers are too ignorant and they rarely reason kkkkk, after going around your car searching for faults and found none unoona auya pawindow pako, apa driver's license anenge atotora kare, akaona kuti ashaisisa mhosva unonzwa oti, "tipeiwo $20, hamuna kukama musoro"kwaaaa ungatoti mari yacho inponda mupocket make. Kkkkkkk chiwororo ndicho manje manje salary pepepe hwaaa. Very soon we will be eating rotten bananas together here at Dr Grace Mugabe Trading Centre. Very soon!
Anyway, Mapombi hope the boss heard the message – izvo zvekuona gurumwandira remapurisa paroad block ngazvipere. At least three or four are reasonable kwete 14. Woti 14 paround about, 14 paChimusana, 14 paCraft centre saka tikauya kuCharge Office achazotiitira rough ndiani? Ehezve nekuti vese vaperera kutraffic.
It's almost lunch time guys let me go ndinokanga hangu maputi angu for lunch. By the way, mateacher azopiwa here salary this week? Kkkkkk sorry ndava kumutsa zvirere zvangu! What about Mphoko kuhotera uko akazobuda here? Haa mugaro mwena ukautevedza unoguma vakomana; chingoma kana choririsa senge zvochoita izvi choda kubvaruka! Namai kudai! Ini reve reve tindike zvangu.
But before I go, pane akazondiwanirawo here number yaNgwena; pane hope dzandiri kuramba ndichirota ini. Hope idzi dzandinetsa and dzinoda kuti nditaure naNgwena. Kkkkkk hanzi nabob zviroto zviroto kkkkk but Mapombi anorota zvinoitika manje. Wait and See. Mboko imboko!mapombi