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» »Unlabelled » Open letter to my patron Mr President

Dear Bob

I hope this finds you well Mr President; the patron of the Zombabwe National Liberation War Veterans Association (ZNLWVA), Commander In-Chief of the Defense Forces, the Chancellor of all State universities who is also First Secretary of Zanu PF. I am addressing you in my capacity as an esteemed liberation war fighter and I will try to be both blunt and frank with you – zviye zvatinoita pachicomrade.
 In case you doubt my war credentials as many people think Mapombi anopenga. To put the record straight, I am not crazy inhamo yamakatiunzira iyi Mr President. Taitombopfekawo masuit iwaya amunopfeka zvaitonwisawo mvura mufunge but now ndava kupfeka mamvemve nekuti nyika iyi makavondonga mega iyi. Anyway, for my war credentials please do not hesistate to consult our highly esteemed chairperson Chris Mutsvangwa, Douglas Mahiya, Francis Nhando and Headman Moyo, just to mention a few. I am very sure they will tell you that we were together in the trenches and it's just that I was operating in Chirimudombo area imimi muri kujeri kuGonakudzingwa uko. 
I also worked closely with the later Cde Rex Nhongo 'aka' Solomon Mujuru who died in a mysterious inferno a few years ago. Asi mukati waiva moto uri wega here uya wakauraya Mujuru nhai Mr President? I am not suggesting anything here kungobvunzawo hangu just like a Cde who was saddened by the seemingly controversial death of a fellow war vet.
Anyway, I will be precise Mr President. Mapombi is very sure that the recent announcement by my fellow Cdes that we have disappointed you from the position of being our patron came as a surprise to you especially considering that you had handed over 13 Ford Ranger vehicles to the war vets. Mr President, 13 vehicles is just a drop in the ocean – it's nothing considering the number of war vets in our association. To be frank with you, it's a mockery - a misguided and misplaced priority to be more precise. Hatidyi mota isu Cde!
We want money to pay school fees for our children and to buy food. Period! This is one reason we decided to relieve you from the role of patron because you have failed to take seriously the welfare of war vets.
Secondly, we have noted with concern that you have formed your own faction, Gushungo 40 (G40) which is run and supported by war deserters. E-eh ndokwakazara vanhu vakatiza hondo kuG40 the likes of self-proclaimed Robin Hood, Professor Jonathan Moyo. You have sided with these Mafikizolos at the expense of War vets to an extent that you decided to kick-out our leader Chris Mutsvangwa both from parliament and Zanu PF, while Mahiya, Moyo, Nhando and Matemadanda have been dragged to the courts. And makambotidira mvura ine unye nema tear gas gore rino when we tried to have an amicable meeting with you. Kkkkkkkk is this what we really fought for Cde Mr President? For ministers to loot over $400 000 from Zimdef and stole land earmarked for the youth? No, no, no!
As if that is not enough, your wife Marujata, as Dzikamai Mavhaire affectionately calls her, belittled us at Chiweshe rally early this year together with Mboko saying there was nothing special about being a war vet. Marujata denigrated us calling us all sorts of names. There is nothing special about being a war vet - really? Hanzi makatumwa here kuenda kuhondo kwacho. Anyway, I hope you clearly heard what Cde Jabulani Sibanda said – hanzi power will never be sexually transmitted. Kkkkkkk please tell Dr Amai that. Anyway, this is nothing but just a gentle reminder Mr President.
In addition, the country is now on its knees due to corruption and poor sound economic policies. War vets are failing to access their little $200 from the banks due to cash crisis because your G40 faction front runners have looted all the hard cash. Our Cdes are sleeping in corridors so that they can join bank queues early in the morning. Civil servants are no exception and this has seriously affected production in the country since people are now spending much of their time in bank queues. Surprisingly, we haven't seen any one of your ministers in these long winding queues. Kkkkk even ana Dzikamai Mavhaire still walks through the banking hall straight to the manager's office and given his money at our CBZ Masvingo branch, while the poor civil servants and war vets are in queue.  Then imagine kana vana Mavhaire vava kuZimPF vachiri kushandisa power rekuZanu PF kudaro kuzoti vachiriko? Anyway, Mapombi thank God that she is not a bank account holder at any bank. This is the extent to which you have destroyed our beloved country Mr President.
Of late, students have been embarrassing you at graduation ceremonies as they demonstrated demanding jobs. Kkkkkk kusvika your security team yava kutorera vanhu anything they would suspect kuti chingashandiswa kunyoresa an anti-Mugabe message at graduation ceremony. But hats off to the NUST student akaita zvekudeedzera after they have taken away pens kkkkkkk ndofunga next graduation vanhu vachanwiswa musombodhiya so that mavoices avo become horse and they won't be able to shout loud.
Anyway, it is against this background that we, the liberation war fighters, have decided to disappoint you from being our patron with immediate effect. We might consider re-appointing you in future if you stop forthwith sidelining with G40 and becomes a fair leader. We will not miss you because there is virtually nothing to write home about you for the entire period you was the patron of war vets except that you increased our poverty.
It's almost lunch time ndibvumirei ndiende hangu kundokanga maputi angu for lunch while I wait for fellow war vets to come and buy me some rotten bananas here at Dr Grace Trading Centre. But Mphoko be warned; I am going to confront you at the conference.
Yours Faithfully
War Vet Mapombi, mboko imboko!

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