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» » » » » Welcome to Ngwena stronghold, Cdes!

Welcome to Ngwena stronghold! Here we speak no other gospel except for praising Ngwena. We love him, like him and would do anything to protect our and his interests. In Ngwena we trust!
Gogo Shuvai Mahofa and Josaya Hungwe can bluntly tell you kuti zvimwe zvese zvemadzana mbwanana hatidi kuno – especially if it's coming from Professor Jonathan 'Robin Hood' Moyo, Saviour 'Stands' Kasukuwere, Patrick 'Muzukuru' Zhuwao and Phelekezela 'Hotel' Mphoko. 
Kkkkkk by the way, you all know Mapombi is a gentlema haavanzi; the above-mentioned four Cdes are a big joke. No wonder why Chris Mutsvangwa has no kind words for them. Hanzi Prof Moyo is the least qualified to talk about succession in Zanu PF. Hanzi a war deserter and thief kkkkkk asi mukoma Chris musadaro imi tambai zvakanaka nevamwe. But do you really mean $400 000 just disappeared the same way our $15 billion disappeared and nothing has been done? Tinyareiwo varume nevakadzi imi.
Mapombi gives enough respect to Mutsvangwa; he is so blunt zvinotobhowa so. Hanzi had it not been that Zhuwao is related to President Robert Mugabe, the dreadlocked politician wouldn't be known in political circles. Hanzi Zhuwao should be grateful to War vets because they fought for freedom which now allows him to wear dread which was impossible during Ian Smith regime kwaaaaa!
Anyway, enough of these successionists or are they secessionists? I mean this Gushungo 40 (G40) faction, which according to Mutsvangwa, is led by war deserters, thieves and corrupt people. But at least they now know that know G4o business is tolerated here in Masvingo. Hanzi itirai kuChiweshe kana kuMazowe zvobva zvaperera ikoko. Mind you dziva guru idiva kamwe ukadzokera kepiri unowana Ngwena dzasvinura.
Unfortunately, Mapombi was denied entry to the venue of the conference because the officials denied to accredit her hanzi hatidi vapengo pamusangano wedu. Am I really crazy?  I am this poor because of this government and Zanu PF - I cannot afford a decent meal let alone buying decent clothes. Ndosvika ndakapfeka mamvemve moti I am crazy and as a result you cannot accredit me. Hooo; asi zivai mugaro mwena maCdes!
Anyway, I want to warn my fellow Cdes especially from the G40 faction – you cannot run the show here; kuno ndekweTeam Lacoste. Zvekuimba Mazezuru unconquerable munozviitira kuChiweshe not kuno. Kuno munotoimba kuti Lacoste unconquerable! Understand?
Your 'Mafioso resolutions' are not welcome here.  Your inclusion of a 'woman in the presidium resolution' is not welcome here unless you say the female candidate will replace Mphokho. Kkkkk ko vakazobuda here muhotera Cde ava?  But vakapinda seiko pauVP? Mapombi strongly feels Simon 'SK' Khaya-Moyo was the right candidate for the post though.    
In fact, history had taught us kuti national chairperson position is reserved for the Ndebeles in Zanu PF and that particular person would eventually become second vice-president in the event that the incumbent dies or becomes incapacitated. We have precedencies of Joseph Msipa and John Nkomo. Anyway, we all know what happened, and it's justified why SK suddenly went into hibernation immediately after the 2014 congress. SK is probably the worst Zanu PF spokesperson in the history of the party, but Mapombi understands him – he must be bitter. He should be given more time to fully recover from that shock. Kkkkkk that is Mugabe and Zanu PF for you Cde Khaya-Moyo.
Mapombi is a gentleman anyway, haavanzi. Vafana veG40 ava vatiurayira musangano. Imagine Kasukuwere was in Bikita watching people being beaten up? What picture is he painting about the party? That Zanu PF is a violent party? We should promote peace and not political violence. This is not right. 
Anyway, Prof Moyo don't even dare post on your twitter anything negative about Ngwena at least for the time you will be here for the conference. Kuno tinokugadzirisa unozviita wadzokera kuHarare. You can twit telling us where is the $400 000 you took from Zimdef, not anything else. We cannot tolerate your stupid twits – please be warned! 
Gogo Mahofa and uncle Hungwe have been blunt that Masvingo province belongs to Team Lacoste.  Ask Amasa Nhenjana the acting provincial chairperson and his provincial political commissar Jeppy Jaboon they tried kumhanya neG40 but to no avail. The duo can confess that life is hell here. Even my young brother Norbert Ndavarombe can tell you that. Kkkkk asi mamwe mazita so – Ndava Rombe kkkkk.
It's almost lunch time guys allow me to go ndondokanga hangu maputi angu for lunch. Manje anodyika here ini ndange ndakambozviudza kuti I will be eating mabonzo at the conference. But before I go, I appeal to Dr Grace Mugabe to come to Chitima Market. People here are a disgrace – they named a filthy place like Chitima market after Dr Grace Mugabe. But since I told you that this is Mnangagwa's stronghold, Mapombi was not surprised by this move to name such a filfthy place Dr Grace Mugabe Trading Centre. But at least visit the place and see for yourself otherwise vanhu vanozoti Mapombi anotaurisa. 
Chokwadi munhu anopfeka ring ye$1.3 million obva aitiwa associated with a filthy place like Chitima market? Ukaonawo isu vana Mapombi tava kuona kuti nzvimbo iyi ine tsvina kuzoti vanhu kwavo? 
By the way, did you manage to recover your millions from that guy Dr Amai? Simba and Stern where are you – you should not allow this thing to happen to our mother. Don't worry Dr Amai; our boys will take care of everything. But please do visit Chitima market if you happen to get time. Mboko imboko! mapombi

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