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» » » Happy 93rd Mr President


Kkkkkk but politics so ka maOne chaiwo. Of all the people, Mapombi never thought Rugare Gumbo would have the audacity to say such words - hanzi President Mugabe has never been charming kubva tichiri kuhondo and as a result he resorted to second-hand women. Kkkkkkk akomanaka tambai zvakanaka!
But kuti second-hand wife kobvirwa Dr Amai here? Kkkkk ana Gumbo maguta kunyarwa handiti how can you belittle a whole Dr (PhD) and refer to her as a second-hand wife? But eish; Marujata wacho anozozvinyanyzwo futi – her address recently leaves a lot to be desired.
Mapombi started to question kuti ndivo here vakaita PhD paUZ or vakaitirwa because zvimwe zvinotaurwa hazvina maturity. In fact zvinonyadzisa especially when it's coming from the First Lady. How can she spend so much time speaking about how bees mate in the air and stuff -  please leave Queen Bee alone! Whether she is a whore, harlot or prostitute just leave her alone.
But to say Zimbabweans will vote for Mugabe from his grave I think that's stretching our patience too far. People of Zimbabwe might be docile but not to an extent of voting a dead person kuti tarwara here nhai Grace? Hezvo!
Anyway, Mapombi would want to believe that when Grace said people would vote Mugabe from the grave wakataura chiDuma vanhu vakatadza kuchinzwisisa – maybe she was only confirming that Mugabe would not be alive by the time we will have elections. Let us give Grace the benefit of doubt and assume ndozvaaireva hake kuti by the time we go for elections the President will be no more. Kkkkkk she might be another prophet of doom though!
Tell whoever made you to believe that Mugabe is the only person with Presidential qualities that people would vote for him to rule from the grave – kuti makanyeberewa  hakuna zvakadaro. And even for you to dream becoming the next President succeeding your dear hubby muka ubike doro uti ko midzimu yandirasirei kudai. Not over my dead body – naMnangagwa kudai ndokupikira Marujata hauchinanzve chigaro chiye. Chine varidzi chinhu ichi.
By the way, President Mugabe turned 93rd  this week and all is set for his 21st Movement celebrations. Mapombi is not a jealousy woman so she would like to congratulate the Commander-in-chief of the Defence Forces, the Chancellor of all State universities, the first secretary of Zanu PF, the god-father of all Zanu PF factions a happy birthday. Mapombi wishes you many more and I dedicate Sulumani Chimbetu's song as I wish you the best on the occasion of your birthday – 'Ndiri kunzwa masimba okupinda muzana…kunge munhu uye ari kumhanya race……kumhanya race kumhanya….Usain Bolt. Kkkkkk vana Sulu venyu ava!
Mapombi is happy for Gushungo – tongai vanhu Karigamombe! Zimbabwe is full of foolish people as your wife correctly puts it that chero muri muguva tinongokuvhoterai. We are even foolish to an extent that we can even vote your wife to take over from you -  in fact we can make Zimbabwe a Mugabe dynasty.  We have no hard feelings about that because we are not so intelligent.
Don't worry about the poor performing economy, high unemployment rate, poor roads if there are still any roads to talk about and poor health facilities. What is more important is power Gushungo – tongai vanhu chete.
But Masvingo province is really on fire Mr President -  Team Lacoste and Gushungo 40 (G40) zviri kutatsurana zvinonzwisa tsitsi. Mapombi has never thought the two factions would go to that extreme. Jorum Gumbo was booed at the just ended Zanu PF PCC at Masvingo Provincial Show grounds and his attempt to side with Team Lacoste foiled. E-eh ko hamuzvisive here kuti vana Gumbo ndeve Team Lacoste though vachizviramba pane vanhu ko vangatii ivo vachisapota Ngwena isina mazino. Mind you a Monitor lizard (burwa) is far much better than a toothless crocodile. Iyo Ngwena iyi mukatoti ingwena chaiyo chaiyo yemashuwa imi? Mapombi doubts very much!
Anyway, Mapombi will not predict the results of the Zanu PF provincial executive elections to take place today (Thursday) but mukaita zvekutamba Gushungo 40 inoenda nechinhu.
G40 enjoys the brains of about 17 MPs from the province who are working against old and tired gogo Mahofa and sekuru Hungwe hahahahaha chero ndimiwo.
It's almost lunch time guys let me go ndindozvikangira hangu maputi angu for lunch but before I go, can someone tell Dokora kuti the devil is a liar! Musataure naye zvakawanda please just tell him the devil is a big liar.
Anyway, Mapombi heard there will be a by-election in Mwenezi on April 8 where Muzukuru Joosbi Omar will square off with this guy who is always in the wrong basket – Kudakwashe Bhasikiti. Kkkkkk but zvaBhasikiti vakomana hanzi Dr Grace and Dr Mujuru zvakangofanana neCyclone Dineo hanzi imhepo dzese. Kkkkkkk ndiregei zvangu ini nditsvage some rotten bananas so that I can help myself while ndichikanga zvangu maputi.
Ko Mphoko uripiko these days? Haaa that man – no wonder why people say he ran away from the liberation war. Anyway mboko imboko!mapombi adonha

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