Kkkkkkk Zimbabwe and its leadership!
Mapombi heard munyika maita umwe anenge mupengo unonzi Nkosana Moyo who thinks he can come from self-exile and become President of this country. President Mugabe once said kana wafemerwa nemukadzi kumba worota watonga nyika ino – zviroto zviroto!
And this Nkosana guy is really a joke; honestly after running away in 2001 and spending close to two decades in the diaspora tichisvuurwa nenhamo yaMugabe toga muno, he suddenly pops up hanzi ndava kuda kuita President kkkkkkkk nhamo.
Zimbabwe is not Mberengwa Cde! He neglected chin hygiene long time ago and it's really difficult to trust such a person to run the whole country when he cannot even take care of his chin. Mapombi laughed lungs out when she saw some pictures of Nkosana moving around the streets eating sugarcane and boarding kombis kkkkkkkk bambo vangu makainonokera colgate.
Mapombi's advice to Nkosana is very simple; do not follow people Cde but let people follow you. Kana iri nzara why can't Nkosana join Mnangagwa camp and stop bringing confusion among opposition parties.
But Mapombi is happy Morgan Tsvangirai summed it up recently when he signed something with the leader of Transform Zimbabwe, Jacob Ngarivhume. Hanzi rwizi runozara nemadiriro so it is all these tributaries which would eventually feed into Save, the biggest river in the country. Musazoti hamuna kuzvinzwa vana Joice Mujuru, Egypty Dzinemunhenzva, Tendai Biti, Welshman Ncube and Simba Makoni nevamwewo vasati vava kuzikanwa sana Nkosana Moyo.
But Mapombi has realised one thing about Zanu PF and MDC-T of late. Have you ever noticed that these two political parties no longer use recent pictures of their leaders? Zanu yava kushandisa picture yaMugabe yekuma 1980 while MDC-T uses Tsvangirai's picture yekuma2008. Mapombi guesses the reasons are obvious – kuchembera nekurwara!
But why afraid to use current pictures if that is the person you believe in? Why not use Mugabe iyeye wachembera or Tsvangirai ari kurwara iyeye kana ari iye wamuri kuda? After all who doesn't know that Mugabe wachembera? Or that Tsvangirai is not feeling well? Please do not use yester year pictures tipeiwo cuurent pictures so that we know how our leaders look like at the moment.
Anyway, can someone who really know this Pyschology Maziwisa guy tell me kuti dzakanyatso kuti kwesere here or dzakangotambawo nevana sedzana Mapombi? Mapombi thinks this Maziwisa guy is overrated – the truth is that he is a dunderhead. Bharanzi zvaro.
How can he say all old people must be assisted to vote? Kutsvaga kuda kubiririra masikati machena – who says old people cannot vote at their own?
Mapombi begins to think that Maziwisa akataura dimikira; he was actually referring to his party president Mugabe that he no longer thinks properly therefore he must be assisted to vote come 2018. Ndomafungirewo avo vaPyschology zvisinei chiringazuva chedu chabva chatsvuka chikakwata saka nyaya yavo ngatimboisiira pano tozoibata muchikamu chinotevera.
Mapombi was so excited by the news she got few days ago. Mapombi heard zvakazonyandurana manje gonzo nachin'ai and things are not so well between Professor Jonathan Moyo and Army Commander Constantino Chiwenga. I heard masecrets ese ava kubuda manje.
Mapombi heard kuti our late Retired Colonel Kudzai Mbudzi is the one who wrote 'O' Level examinations for Chiwenga kkkkkkkkkkk. We all know Mbudzi was damn intelligent – that might be very possible. Mapombi heard again that even the doctorate (PhD) our good commander vakaitirwa futi kkkkkkk gore rino. Handei tione!
Gariswa madhara aya kungonyepera kuchenjera nyambiswa hapana chinozivikanwa. Gore riya we heard that our former RBZ governor Gideon Gono vaiitirwa PhD yavo naDr Munyaradzi Kereke. Now we are hearing that the army commander vakatonyorerwa even 'O' Level chaiyo kkkkkkkk.
Politics is a dirty game kana madzida motoshinga because chokwadi chese chinobuda pachena. Anyway, we are waiting to hear who did Dr Chiwenga's PhD for him. As long as we have internet connection our good Professor Moyo will soon tweet. Tichaonerera nhaka.
At least we now know kuti madhara aya hapana zvinozivikanwa kungwarira paguyo sehuku. They use power to get anything – from beautiful women, wealthy to academic qualifications.
It's almost lunch time guys let me go ndindozvikangira hangu maputi angu for lunch but will pass through nekuTanaiwa market looking for rotten bananas. But last week ndakamboiitei yoghurt from Gushungo dairy. Wish if we can have another youth interface rally again here in Masvingo ndimboipamha zvakare yoghurt. Mapombi now knows why varume vachirambira pazvigaro ava vari kudya tunonaka – didn't you see them eating Lays that day? Isu vana Mapombi tichingokuvara nawo maputi.
By the way, Mphoko is too quiet these days - Mapombi is very sure that he is brewing something. Very soon he will crack another shocker – don't forget he is the same guy who spent close to two years living in a five star hotel ka uyu. Mphoko imboko!mapombi