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» » Kudzi Chipanga for commissar!

Kkkkkk hanzi chimbomirai kuti munhu wese kuna Dr Amai and say munhu wese kuna Kudzi Chipanga kkkkkk hahahaha politics so – mahwani! But the Chipanga guy is really crazy – how can he propose that every youth must adopt the Mugabe surname? Tikwanire iwe . . .  chete munhu haabvumirwe nekutukwa nehurema hwake asi ndapotsa ndati maziso aka. . . please forgive me for that but uite mushe iwe Chipanga. Ndikunzwe futi uchitaura zvisina maturo.
But can someone tell me what is wrong with Zimbabwe? Or is it with Zimbabweans? Mapombi is just confused – how can the whole nation from the ministers to street vendors sit down to talk about Zodwa 'mushayabhurugwa' Wabantu?
Honestly, kutonzi nhasi cabinet is having a meeting and Zodwa is on the agenda? How can we stoop so low to an extent that the whole government will debate kuti Zodwa ouya akapfeka bhurugwa here or not. Bhurugwa chairo ndiro ringatoita nyaya kudai? Kkkkk even the long forgotten Chigwedere was on television talking about Zodwa saying as the chairperson of the censorship board blah blah; nxaaa! Nonsense.
Isu vana Mapombi takapedzesera kupfeka pant kudhara dhara because I cannot afford to but underwears. The economy is biting! Ndinongofamba ndiri mushwi but no one is making it an issue; I even attended the Zanu PF conference at Masvingo Show Grounds ndisina bhurugwa racho but no one said a thing.
Why waste time talking about Zodwa, being banned or not, some of us will not attend the Harare International Carnival anyway because we have more serious bread and butter issues to attend to. I will be going to bank every day to collect those bond papers pamwe ndingatowanawo kamari vamwe vari kumafaro.  Ndikunzwei muchitinyaudza futi nenyaya yekushaya bhurugwa kwaZodwa. Aah vanhu vepi.
Mapombi has since realised that Dr Amai tonned down at Mkoba rally last week – I am sure a lot of things is haunting her among them kamusikana kaakashagada keku South Africa kaya.
Kutodawo kuzoverenga Bible verses kkkkkk baba vangu iwee-e. Kkkkk nhamo!
But Mapombi captured something from Dr Amai's empty speech – she anointed Chipanga and that might mean the boy is set assume a powerful position in Zanu PF very soon.
Dr Amai said can you stop, at least for now, to say munhu wese kunaAmai and let us all say Munhu wese kuna Kudzie Chipanga. Did anyone hear this? Vakazvinzwa simudzai maoko tione.
Mapombi analyses a lot and I can confidently say that statement was not only in reference to the organising skills that Chipanga showed at the Midlands rally, but it was in fact a way of campaigning for Chipanga.
Those who care to listen please listen carefully; Chipanga is the next Zanu PF national political commissar. Mapombi can confidently tell you that Chipanga apinda uyu – munhu wese kuna Kudzie Chipanga.
Mapombi is very sure Mugabe will soon reshuffle his politburo and ndaona Chipanga apiwa the commissariat portfolio.
Mind you we are going for elections next year and the old man has been running around the country soliciting for support from the youth. Hate him or like him, Chipanga has shown that he has the capacity to mobilise the youth – which are critical in determining next year's election therefore, he deserves reward from Mugabe.
But don't ever think Kasukuwere will be relegated to the dust bins. Never! He will be given another powerful portfolio again because Gushungo 40 (G40) ndiyo iri kutonga.
Mapombi realised that Team Lacoste is just a bunch of fools; toothless dogs to be precise. They are just good at barking but chinobuda hapana. We all know them for bragging kuti tisu tiri kutonga hee-e Mnangagwa blah blah haa-a tibvirei apa.
Mapombi will be generous and tell the truth – G40 ndiyo iri kutonga nyika. I mean those guys who are not liked by the security chiefs ndivo vari kutonga nyika ino while Mnangagwa and his group, despite the full support from service chiefs, are merely spectators.
They are only enjoying the benefits of being close to where power is but mukavabvunza they will tell you the truth kuti havasi kutonga varume vaya.
Mapombi always regrets why Mwari vakandiita munhukadzi because if I were a man chokwadi maindiona. But still continue that nonsense, I will approach vana Mnangagwa ivavo ndigovati bvisai mabhurugwa mundipe ndipfeke ini ivo ndovapa dhirezi.
No wonder this country is among the worst in Africa. Ingaita zvakanaka sei nyika when we have cowards and bootlickers masquerading as leaders? Nxaa!
Anyway, thank you Grace for anointing Chipanga; im sure those Cdes from Lacoste will turn green with envy. Munhu wese kuna Chipanga!
It's almost lunch time guys let me go ndindokanga hangu maputi angu for lunch and eat some rotten bananas. Thank God temperatures are improving these days tombodziyawo mushana but hey, competition for food is becoming tense in town because of ever increasing street kids and squatters. Hamunawo zvamungaita here nhai veSocial Welfare because ndingafa nenzara shuwa.
Before I go, how is Mphoko doing? Did anyone pass through my request to him because I desperately want to start a poultry project? Even a donation of 50 chicks will be enough for me to kick start the project. Mboko imboko!mapombi

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