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» » The Crocodile that never was!



Kikikikiki mugoona zvoita Mwari so! Mapombi has been on record not once, twice or thrice but several times telling you that murume wamunoti Ngwena uyu haisi ngwena zvachose iyi. We all know crocodile and its antics; Mnangagwa resembled none of that. It was indeed a case of mistaken identity – mupurwa waionekwa sengwena.
But chisingaperi chinoshura vakomana – who ever thought the feared Mnangagwa will be fired so easily like that? Mapombi can safely tell you guys that it was even more difficult to fire Joice Mujuru in 2014 than it was to fire the self-proclaimed Ngwena on Monday.
Mapombi has been on recording saying this guy called Mnangagwa is being overrated. Grace Mugabe told us kuti murume igwara iri kkkkkkkk seka zvako Mapombi of the unknown totem.
Chasara kudzingwa mumusangano come December extra-ordinary congress. Yes, Mnangagwa will be fired because it will be dangerous to keep him in the party even as a card carrying member. He has to go the same way Didymus Mutasa, Rugare Gumbo, Kudakwashe Bhasikiti and Mujuru.
In fact, Mnangagwa's expulsion teaches us that he who plays with sword will die by the sword. Some of us know that Ngwena played a role when Mujuru and company were kicked out of Zanu PF and has been on record bragging that Dr Stop it (Grace) vakativhura njere vakativoneswa kuipa kwaRunaidha. Saka ndomene haichemedze Cde. Kkkkkk by the way you will seize to be a comrade soon, right?
Mapombi can't wait to read her not so favourite newspaper from the state media addressing Mnangagwa as Mr Mnangagwa kkkkkkkk but politics zvadzinoita so, mahwani. But I am not feeling any pity for Mnangagwa; I told him to take Mugabe head-on kare kare but he thought Mapombi mupengo manje nhasi kupenga kwangu makuona ka. Hamba kuhle ED.
But Mapombi would still want to give ED, as Mnangagwa is popularly known, some advice. When they eventually fire you from party, please do not attempt to form your own political party. Don't even try, please. The truth is that you are not popularly out here – kwedu kuno kuDr Grace Trading Centre (kuChitima market) people do not really like you but were supporting you on the basis that uri muKaranga and they were thinking you would confront Mugabe and tell him kuti chindipawo chitanda ndimbotongawo.
And now that you have failed even to say a single word against the nonagenarian hauna munhu angakuvhotera uri wega wena.
I have been giving free advice since I was born but some people are so stubborn that they say they don't listen kuvanhu vakapfeka mamvemve. Really? But those who care to listen to my advice zvakatovabatsira because zviri kutovafambira.
Anyway, I will still give Mnangagwa a word kana akada kusaterera zvava zvakewo. Please do not form your own political outfit. Either join Morgan Tsvangirai or Joice Mujuru if you still want to continue with active politics or mogara henyu kumba muchitamba nevazukuru. To be honest, to start a new political party is a waste of time unongoguma waita sana Didymus Mutasa, Bhasikiti and Gumbo. They are now politically dead and forgotten. You may choose not to believe it but Morgan Tsvangirai ndochibaba politics dzekupikisa and whoever tries to form their own party Morgiza achiripo will do so at their own peril.
Mapombi heard that Mnangagwa is close to Chamisa – please use that contact and connection musvitswe kurwizi rukuru Save. You may have pride but for now swallow it and go for negotiations with Tsvangirai.
Mapombi has seen a lot of Lacoste people with stoned-faced kkkkk Chadzamira, Ndava, Baloyi, Munyoro and many more were not happy vakomana. Mpombi heard they received the news of Mnangagwa's sacking when they were busy addressing a press conference paDhiyo apa and there was total silence pavakanzwa kuti mukuru adzingwa. Kkkkkk.
By the way, Mapombi remembered that Mnangagwa once said that kumagumo kune nyaya when he was addressing party members at a memorial service of Shuvai Mahofa in Gutu kkkkk ndonyaya here yamaireva iyi nhai Shumba? Kungodzingwa moramba makanyarara?
I thought kuchaita nyaya zveshuwa but when I read from the newspapers that you had a press conference claiming you were misquoted ndakabva ndaziva kuti hapana hapana.
Anyway, it's almost lunch time guys let me go ndindokanga hangu maputi angu for lunch. At least ndiri kufara nekuti mabhanana akaoora ihobho mazuvano. By the way, congratulations to Dr Amai; you fought a good fight. Makarwa kurwa kwakanaka zveshuwa. You have proved beyond doubt that Zimbabwe inyika yemaZezuru and hapana muKaranga anomboitonga. I'm sure Mphoko would agree with me on that. Munhu wese kuna Dr Amai. Mapombi heard the youth league has already endorsed Dr Amai to replace ED. Waal, ndokuti kutonga ka uku imagine baba voita President uku Amai ndiVP. Wozodeyi?
Mapombi can foresee one of Boyz dzeSmoko being roped in even chero kuArmy ikoko uko or kutopiwa constituency chaiko and subsequently becomes Minister. Hoo-o, if you think  I am dreaming then wait and see. A Mugabe dynasty is very possible.
Anyway, it was good while it lasted Cde Mnangagwa. It was indeed nice doing business with you. It's unfortunate that many people overrated you and they were fully behind you vachifunga kuti mune power. Now reality is catching up with them and vamwe vacho vava kutorwara neBP. Mphoko is far much better than Mnangagwa I am sure.  Hamba kuhle Mnangagwa ! Mboko imboko!mapombi

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