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» » Mnangagwa my man!



Now that the cool is over, it's time to get to serious business. Hey chiiko nemi I said cool not coup iyo yamava kutaura iyo zvava zvenyuwo izvozvo ini handichazvikwanise kwava kuda kutsvaga kutirovesa nana mukoma.
But the cool was really helpful anyway because Mr Mugabe decided to call it quits as pressure continued to mount on him. Mapombi thought it was game over for Mnangagwa after he was fired from Vice President post but vana Chiwenga vakazomubatsira wena.
But iyeyu Chiwenga naMnangagwa ndakatovagumbukira rough; I heard ndivo vakarambirira election ya2008 mudhara ati ndoenda kwaZvimba kundorima zviyo nembambaira. Dai makarega zvakaenda kudhara zvingadaro tisina kumboona nhamo yese yamakationesa iyi. Zvichatora nguva kuti tikuregererei varume imi – in fact you have to sort out the economy as soon as possible kana muchida kuti tikanganwe nhamo yatakaoneswa naRobert because of you.
Mapombi however, has few predictions of the things that will happen soon; firstly – I can foresee former Bikita West legislator Dr Munyaradzi Kereke vachibuda mujere while Dr Ignatious Chombo is locked up at Chikurubhi. I can foresee former Prosecutor General Johannes Tomana bouncing back as well probably with a more powerful position now.  Please note that these are just predictions ini ndakasiyana nevamwe vaya vanozviti maprophets who say everything they predict is prophecy.
There is a big difference between a prediction and prophecy muvaudze izvozvo vazvizive vasatinyepere ivavo vakandopiwa samba nemaAsante kuGhana munovaziva. Anyway, you have heard my prediction so let's wait and see kana zvazotadza mozoti Mapombi unonyepa – dai musina hana nhete ndaibva ndangokuudzai zvimwe zvikuru manje ndoswera zvangu ndotsvagwa nemasoja nemapurisa mandifumura kuti ndini ndakakuudzai. But will tell you anyway because ndiri gentleman handivanze.
But life sometimes is not fair guys; are you telling me that Marujata is no longer first lady of this country? Kkkkkkkk inga hupenyu ivhiri hunoshanduka chokwadi – Grace 'Gucci' chaiye chaiye here? Kkkkkk haa mhepo ndoiziva zvangu ini. Anyway, my dear brothers don't ever make a mistake of going to bed with secretaries kumabasa uko munotiparira veduwe.  I rest my case.
Mapombi heard from Leo Mugabe that the former president is well and fit; kkkkk hanzi he is looking forward to his new life kumusha and farming kkkkkk zvoita upenyu so. Asi mudhara anga arwadzisa vanhu mhani uyu.
Back to serious business; by the way Mnangagwa said to have already hit the ground running and he promised probably more than what he can chew. Of course, after taking over a fractured country like Zimbabwe, one has to promise anything, just anything. He has promised jobs, jobs, jobs, reviving the economy and to ruthlessly dealing with corruption. Kkkkkkk CORRUPTION? Really Mr President?
But I was impressed by the decision to cut budget by half for the Zanu PF extra-ordinary congress – at least Mnangagwa has to do it the Magufuli way if he is to indeed endear himself with the generality of Zimbabweans. People of Zimbabwe just want transparency and good governance. Period.
People want to know what happened to the $15 billion which Mugabe said it disappeared; what happened to Itai Dzamara. But Mnangagwa cannot do this without exposing his cdes and allies but zvava kutoda kushinga saMagufuli apa and once he does that Ngwena inobva yatoita hero chairo.
I am however, appealing to you Mr President to make sure the person called Dofora or is it Dokora is nowhere near the primary and secondary education ministry please. Please please ndakumbirawo hangu the man is a big problem. The best is just to let him go andozorora zvake naMugabe vachitaura about their new curriculum ikoko. We don't want to see Dokora near our children, please.
But Chinamasa and Mumbengegwi vanoti Mwari ndewedu wena; after being humiliated by Mugabe by way of demotion to inferior ministries,they have bounced back as acting ministers of Finance and Foreign Affairs respectively. Kana iri mudzimu yavo doro vanofanira kutombobika futi.
Mapombi however, wants to warn Mnangagwa that the cabinet really needs an overhaul; izvi zvekuramba mongoti vana Hungwe maminister hazvichaita todawo new and fresh blood. More youthful MPs must be appointed to the cabinet kwete chembere dzava kungorarara mumisangano idzo.
But to declare Mugabe's birthday a national public holiday ndokurasika chaiko. Mapombi is sure the new president kutodawo kuti ravo birthday rigozonziwo public holiday. What national Youth Day ipapa? We want to fast forget anything to do with Mugabe please so don't add on to our woes; we already have airports and streets named after him which some of us vana Mapombi have declared kuti handisvike anywhere pakangonyorwa kuti Robert Gabriel Mugabe. Kana mumastreets chaiwo handigurimo that is why I prefer to remain here at Dr Grace Trading Centre. Kkkkkkk by the way, anyone who named this place after Grace munhu iyeye ngauye pano ndimbomupawo some rotten bananas and maputi because akachenjeresa. The filthiness of this place naGrace igejegeje chaiyo kkkkkk sando dzenyu Queen of Grace.
It's almost lunch time regai ndeiende zvangu ndindokanga maputi angu for lunch ndingamapedza here mashoko mazuvano akawandisa kudarika mvura yeCyclone Grace. But before I go, im really worried Cdes, is there anyone in Botswana andiudzewo kuti ubudi wami Mphoko unjani. I miss you mfo'wethu! But I hear he has already phoned Ngwena begging for mercy and to be allowed to return home after Khama gave him a December 1 deadline to leave the country kkkkk. I'm happy I heard Choppies inserted an advert in one of the State papers congratulating Ngwena for being President – you were on point. I miss you bro! Asante Sana! Mboko imboko!mapombi

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