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» » Mapombi’s New Year resolutions



Greetings in the name of Jesus Christ! Compliments of the new season! Mapombi had the most memorable festive holiday ever – a Christmas and New Year without Robert Mugabe – what else would you want pakadai vakomana.
But on a sad note, Mapombi will not enjoy the leftovers she normally gets at 21st February Movement celebrations pataipemberera bhavhadheyi raGushungo. That was too lavish vakomana millions of US dollars were spent celebrating birthday of an old man. In fact vafana vana Chipanga nana Hamandishe vaizvidyira zvavo vakomana vaya kutoita matumbu wena isu vana Mapombi tichirarama with rotten bananas and maputi.
I thank God Mugabe and his wife Grace are now history. But ummm we are likely to have another Grace very soon in the name of the new First Lady – amai vanenge vane dzungu ava mukanyatsovatarisisa speed yacho handiinzwisise ini.
Every day we hear she has visited this and that hospital saying kunoda kuiswa mitemo yakati neyakati wotoshaya kuti ko ivo kuParliament vaimboitei pese apa. Since she took over that constituency which has more animals than people we haven't heard that she visited even one hospital in Zibagwe – Chirumanzu but since she became First Lady every day kuhospital. Madam First Lady, laws are made by legislators in Parliament, and you being a Member of Parliament (MP), you should have moved the motion kudhara dhara kwete kuswerotiitira noise apa, nxaa!
I think you should take this advice from your generous sister Mapombi Adonha – dzikamai amai bhora pasi mudenga hamuna ground. Don't be too excited by being First Lady zvinodarika izvo. Don't attract media attention for nothing kuda kungonyorwa mumapaper or kubuda paTV everyday musina chinomusoro chamunotaura. I hope you will take this advice seriously; it's for your own good.
Anyway, now that we are now in 2018; Mapombi has few resolutions this year. The first is to lobby for good governance – Mapombi will, without fear or favour, expose anyone who engages in corrupt activities. I mean anyone whether Crocodile, Lizard, Hungwe, Fidze, or any other prominent names ndichangozvitaura chete.
But Hungwe so mahwani; mudhara haana kana ganda kumeso zvachose iyeyu. I heard he attempted to impose Ronald Ndava kuChiredzi North uko kwaRobert Mukwena simply because he hates the incumbent for no apparent reason. Aaah he has a reason and it's because Mukwena once chanted a 'Pasi naHungwe' slogan sometime last year which infuriated our Minister of State.
"Dai Zvaibvira kuChiredzi North kwaiswa Ndava nekuti Mukwena wakamboti pasi naHungwe," the old man was reported to have said during a meeting with all MPs in Masvingo province last week. Kkkkkkk maizviita nguva yaMugabe muchibudirira izvozvo mudhara now we are living under a new error and we cannot tolerate that. At least for now!
Mnangagwa said no to imposition of candidates. But chete President vari kungotaura a lot of sweet nothings because implementation rate is close to zero chairo. I think it's high time the President start being pragmatic; yes we are excited that he hit the ground running but please be more pragmatic now than speechifying all the time.
I have so much hope for ED especially on solving the current economic crisis but my confidence dziri kuenda dzichipera. Anyway, I think I should not talk much about that because ED knows what awaits him come general elections in June. It's very simple – sought the economy and get a five year mandate or ship out because hatidye mapromises isu. We want a better economy so that vana Mapombi toshandawo tigoroorwawo tigoitawo vana apa. Moda kuti ndife ndisina mwana senge ndisina chibereko here? Tikwanirei apa.
We have seen that it's possible to change things in just few months; Morgan 'Madzimai' Tsvangirai showed us during inclusive government kuti zvinogoneka. I was a house girl during the inclusive government and ndaishandira teacher asi hupenyu hwaimbaifaya chaiko. I remember boss vangu vachitotengawo chingwa, mazai, margarine nezvimwe zvinonaka zvakaita sana beans but things suddenly changed after 2013 when Zanu PF took over. Had it not been Zanu PF veduwe I still could have been kubasa ndichitoshandira teacher but hey ndakazodzingwa asisakwanise kundibhadhara and I don't blame him because things became difficult until now. I survive on rotten bananas and maputi because Zanu PF ruined my life. Hopefully Mnangagwa will bring back our smiles stolen by Zanu PF.
It's almost lunch time guys ndichingodai kutaurisa let me go ndindokanga zvangu maputi angu for lunch. But I have a lot of New Year resolutions and for sure I'm going to implement them. I am not going to waste my vote like I did in 2013, never.
Kkkkkkk by the way I heard Mphoko wants a golden handshake kkkkkk baba vaya mukati dzakati kwesere? After spending all those years in a five star hotel doing nothing but donating chicks and incubators munhu wotoda golden handshake? Zvimwe muchiti munotamba Cde. I am sure his wife misses hotel life, takambozvitaura kuti chisingapere chinoshura. Mboko imboko!mapombi

About Staff Reporter

TellZim News; Keeping it Real...Committed to Tell Zimbabwe. No 39/40 Hellet Street, Masvingo. Call us on +263 39 262 401 email us on: editor@tell.co.zw
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