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» » Boisterous Biti offside!


Well, we have a clueless government but Mapombi believes we also have an equally power-hungry opposition in the country. It’s an open secret that Zanu PF has failed to solve the country’s problematic economic matrix since independence, and chances are very slim that they will manage to take the country off this mud.
Mapombi once told you that there is really a big difference between a lizard and a crocodile – yes ngwena nemupurwa zvinhu zvakatosiyana! Of course we can draw some similarities between the two reptiles but they are never the same. It’s very unfortunate that we mistake a lizard for a crocodile as a nation and thus we are in this situation today.
Kkkkkk but can someone tell kuda ini hangu handinyatsoziva kuti a person like president of the second republic obvunzwa kuti what’s your biggest challenge so far obva ati my biggest challenge so far is being humble kkkkk hahahaha asi baba vaya vanoda kubatsirwa chokwadi. Mapombi doe not think being humble is the biggest challenge in anyone’s life – being humble cannot be a bigger challenge than the current economic crisis in the country. Maybe it’s all about our priorities as a nation but inini zvangu Mapombi, haaa kutaura pafeya kuzvidukupisa it’s not a challenge at all because my grandmother told me kuti gudo guru peta muswe kuti vaduku vakutye. Probably it’s because I don’t have a military background kkkkkkk.

By the way, how is our best VP Chiwenga doing? Mapombi is not worried because I heard he went to India suffering from a very minor abdominal ailment – I think vakangoenda zvavo kundorapwa manyoka kuIndia because our government told us that it is really a minor abdominal pain. Ko kuita kwemari kunoita fanika kudadaka! Unozongozvinzwisisawo chete kana wava nayo mari yacho. But for the majority of Zimbabweans; especially Zanu PF supporters, kuita mari kuchanetsa kkkkk. I am sorry if I am offending anyone from Zanu PF but I am being honest zvangu because to imagine someone anotengwa ne10kg yembeu and a bag of fertilizer atozoitawo mari ummmm zviroto zviroto! Manyanga chaiye kutozonziwo aita mari? I doubt very much.
Anyway, Mapombi wishes Kedha a quick recovery; I know people falsely accuse him of being arrogant and less intelligent. Haaa vanhu vanotaura zvavanoda Kedha zvimwe ndezvekungosiyanawo nazvo. Mapombi, however, wishes ED and Mutuvi the best of luck. The austerity measures are indeed bearing results, that is, fuel price is going up almost every day from the price imposed by ED. And there is also a creeping acute shortage of goods. This is the kind of austerity measures we want – tongai vanhu Shumba Murambwi! Kana vasina kuti eke musavarega.
Mapombi really understand ED because he envied uncle Bob ruling this country with an iron fist and it’s a feat he has always wanted to emulate. Zimbabweans are prepared for the worst as long as you don’t kill them.  Of course Josaya Hungwe told us a long time ago that ED will shoot to kill but we took him for granted. They kill these guys – hazvishamise kuti ndogona kutovingirwa kwangu kuChitima market uku ndikaswera ndasiya nyemba. But as for me I don’t care kusiri kufa ndekupi – I wear rags and I survive on rotten bananas and maputi every day hungavawo upenyu here vasikana?
I never thought Zanu PF can be cruel to this extent. But the challenge that we have we have an opposition which has no strategy at all.  Chamisa is surrounding himself with bootlickers same same naED. Mapombi has a problem with Biti pakungowawata zvisina maturo apa. Biti said government was introducing a local currency this week saka ari kupi nhai vaBiti maZim dollar acho? Don’t tell us the government changed decision because you said it – Zanu yandoziva haichinjiswe decision because of a mere person like Biti.
We cannot have leaders who wantonly choose to lie to the whole nation and international community simply because they want Zanu PF inzi yakaipa. I know Zanu PF is not likeable but kuzonyepawo hamuone kuti zvonyadzisa nhai vaBiti? A leader must have integrity not kungowawata zvisina maturo.
Of course, opposition extremists celebrate anything including senseless talk but some of us tobva tangoona kuti hapana musiyano neZanu PF apa. Maybe because kwedu kuChitima market shoko rinonoka kusvika pamwe kuda ratozara haro Zim dollar in town so may those in CBD please tell us kuti local currency yakataurwa naBiti yavako zveshuwa here?
Anyway, it’s almost lunch time now let me go ndindokanga zvangu maputi angu for lunch waiting for another bout of austerity measures. But before I go, ko uyu Themba zvekuzoudza Dexter kuti ndokurova zvabva nekupiko nhai? Of course Dexter confessed that he killed quite a lot including vamwe vaasingatozive but kuzomunyadzisirawo kuti ndibate uone kuti unondowira kugallery uko haaa kkkkk. But Mapombi thinks Dexter may know where is Itai Dzamara and can lead us to his body because vakomana ukaona wava kungouraya nevausingazive unenge wauraya zvechokwadi. Anyway, let me save this for another day but hatichiswe nekuuraiwa neZanu isu.
 Kana takatadza kufa muna2008 munofunga kuti Mutuvi naED angatigona netuma austerity measures twavo itwotwu kkkkkkkkk they underrate Zimbos I am sure. Even the soldiers may kill and rape people but havasvike pane kurohwa kwatakaitiwa 2008. They can try all forms of violence but it will never help because people are tired of Zanu PF’s bad leadership and they simply want change. It’s not that Chamisa anodiwa sitereki but it’s simply because people want change. Even if Mapombi was to lead the opposition today, ndaingovhoterwa. Remember former VP Muzenda back then said chero mukaisa dhongi seCandidate yenyu as long as riri kuZanu PF dhongi iroro rinongovhoterwa. Fast forward to today, chero mukaisa dhongi kuva candidate yeMDC Alliance I can safely tell you kuti dhongi iroro rinongovhoterwa because maCdes haachadiwa aya.
Even Mphoko can tell you that Zanu PF lost its taste years ago changosara iyezvino is forcing people to vote for its leadership. Mphoko was more organised than the current VPs – one mudhara airova suit chero parally yaBob chaiyo. It was very rare to see Mphoko wearing party regalia hanzi handipfeke hembe ine mufanakidzo weumwe murume ini kkkkkkkk.
Mboko imboko!

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