Mapombi wants to be schooled here kuti zvinombofamba seiko kuti a person who cannot even construct a simple complete English, or even Shona sentence anzi dhokotera (Dr)? To be honest, I really don’t understand it. Professor Jonso once threatened to shut down all these bogus institutions which doll out honorary doctorates even to Grade 7 dropouts saying vari kuchepesa doctorate. Mapombi thought Prof Jonso was insane but ndava kuzvionera kuti wairevesa sorobhangu uya. We cannot have someone who can hardly construct a simple complete, falwless sentence being called Dhokota (PhD).
Mapombi would like to warn Killer Zivhu the MP for Chivi South a bit. I know the guy is so arrogant that he will not dare listen to hear from a poor woman like Mapombi even if I talk sense because his backward argument is always futseki ndine mari dzangu iwe hauna kana cent uri shuro kkkkkkkkkk. As if life is all about money. Murombo munhu shamwari haavigwe asina kupfeka.
The Chivi South MP is said to be hardworking but Mapombi does not want to get involved in this debate otherwise I will be attempted to say the truth that I know. Zivhu is representing people of Chivi South, therefore, his behaviour on public spaces should be a reflection of the people he represents. The MP needs to be taught two things; the first one being how to control his temper which he often defends by telling people kuti futseki hauna mari iwe uri murombo and stuff. The second one is to try and use Rurimi rwaAmai when communicating on social media. The whole idea of communicating is kuti tinzwisisane and the best way is using chiKaranga chedu chatajaira.
We cannot have a whole MP anotaura zvinyadzi paFacebook and Twitter zvakadaro. That’s taboo. Some of the words are unprintable zvekuti unoshaya kuti ndiMP ari kutaura izvi here uyu. Ukaonawo iniwo zvangu ndonyara kutaurawo mashoko akadaro kuzoti munhu anokudzwa neConstituency yese? Haa tinyarewo Killer shamwari. Zvawadaro watokura Zivhu; representing the whole constituency needs someone anoshandisa mutauro unoremekedza kwete kungotaura zvinyadzi. At one point, Zivhu waitukana naTemba Mliswa on Twitter using unprintable words. Haa chokwadi vane nhamo vagari vekwaChivi. Mapombi is prepared kutukwa kunzi futseki hauna mari uri murombo shuro yemunhu I don’t care. It’s true that I don’t have money but at least I know how to behave. I have my dignity.
Then Temba Mliswa gave Zivhu some free advice which I think Zivhu should take serious – hanzi it’s also allowed to tweet in Shona. Kkkkkkkk at first I thought Mliswa was crazy but after reading Zivhu’s tweet which rhymed like a Zimdancehall chant haaa ndakangotiwo ko zvinodii kungotaura neShona nhai vakomana. Just say what you want in Shona ndoinotonyanyo nzwisiswa nevanhu vekwaChivi uko. Mapombi always argues that English cannot be used as measurement for one’s intelligence but ummm zvimwe zvinozonyanya vakomana. Anyone who doubts what I am saying just go on Twitter uzvionere then tag @Mapombi in your comment ndigonzwawo kuti munozviona sei.
But I hear some people saying Dr Zivhu – is he really a doctor? Can someone help me here; Is Zivhu really a doctor (PhD)? After seeing his tweets and rants on Facebook I then developed an interest in finding out kuti hudhokotera hwavo vakahuitira kupi. It’s an honorary doctorate from a not so reputable institute where he paid around US$5 000 for him to graduate. Kkkkkkk that is a lot of money for some of us vana Mapombi who survive on rotten bananas and maputi. Killer shamwari shoko harivhikwe kana une zheve dzekuhwa wahwa!
By the way, Zivhu is touted as one of hardworking MPs. Kkkkkkk I wish Mahofa Shuvai was still alive aikuudzai zvakawanda pamusoro pemukomana uyu. Mapombi heard Mahofa’s healthy deteriorated sharply after adonha kumba kwaZivhu uko achisungiririswa madhongi nemombe some reflectors hanzi dzisatsikwa nemota along Masvingo – Beitbridge highway. The project never took off since then and only last week Mapombi saw some pictures Zivhu doing the same thing kusungira mombe nemadhongi ma reflectors. Just few donkeys and cattle after all. I wonder what kind of project which has taken more than three years now ichingoitwa but not even 1000 mombe zvadzo dzava nema reflector maChivi.
There was also village ZimAsset which Zivhu attempted at his homestead in Chivi. Kkkkkkk Mapombi remembers very well Zivhu achinyandurana with one of his Facebook friends audzwa kuti zvimavise (watermelons) zvauri kuita pamba pako hazvina dhiri. Kkkkkkk Mapombi can tell you pakaita chimoto and things will always end in the same manner yekuti hauna mari uri shuro futseki. What Zivhu called village ZimAsset was not really a village thing – it was his home projects where he even constructed fish ponds vanhu vamu village vachiuya vachitenga hove kumba kwake. They were income-generating projects for himself.
But of course, he enjoyed very good relationship with the media so even if he sneezes, the Harare journos will write stories kuti Zivhu wahotsira nhasi. By the way, Mapombi would like to ask Minister of State for Masvingo Ezra Chadzamira if Zivhu delivered the 30 000 bricks he pledged for the victims of Cyclone Idai in Bikita? Zvakauya here zvidhina zviya nhai Chitova? How about those unfinished projects he pledged to undertake in Chivi way before he became MP zvava papi nhai Madyira tibatsireiwo. Some of us cannot say much about all these unfulfilled and uncompleted projects because tingatukwa nezvinyadzi tikazvirega uye kuudzwa kuti futseki vanhu vasina mari munonetsa mhani kkkkkkk. But killer so ka!
Ayway, enough of Killer otherwise he will kill us with broken English. Mapombi heard the cabinet said no to civil partnership – thank you Zanu PF Cdes for at least being reasonable for once. We cannot have these divorcees ruin our cultures takatarisa. Mapombi will not talk of our VPs because we all know Mohadi watambudzwa naTambudzani ukuwo taingonzwa kuti Kedha wairohwa zvakaipisisa naJosirini. And we all know that they all have smallhouses including scarfmore so zvekuresverwa tsika dzedu hatidi imi varume imi. I don’t think even Mphoko would want civil partnership to happen. In many countries civil partnership is between people of the same sex manje muno zvatanga toda kuitirwa zvakaoma. Chete kana leadership yakazara nema smallhouses and broken marriages what else can one expects. Thus why Mapombi wanted Mphoko to remain in power. Mphoko respects his wife so much that he demanded to stay in hotel for two years because madam vakanga varamba kugara mudzimba dzese dzavaipiwa muHarare hanzi dzakashata kkkkkkkbut zvinomboita Zanu PF so ka mahwani chaiwo. By the way where is Rugeje? Kkk Zanu PF chiwororo chokwadi. Anyway let me go ndindokanga zvangu maputi angu for lunch otherwise I will be accused of corruption. Iyo ZACC yanetsa vakomana. Who is next to be arrested? Kkkk.