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» » » Welcome back General Chiwenga!



Soko makadiiko. Makadiiko Soko ahhh tinotenda kkkkkkk. Mukati Okusurira dzakanyatsa kuti kwesere here imi vanhu. This woman is a real drama queen chaiyo. Ndakambozvitaura pano kuti Okusurira tikanatsa kumupa mukana anogona kudarika pakasvika Dr Stop it. She is full of theatrics and I did not see any reason why she would kneel before our dearly beloved VP Generari Chiwenga. It is because of people like Okusurira that I sometimes feel ashamed of being a woman. Mapombi anofira kureva and I am over the moon that VP Chiwenga is back and raring to go. The Chinese are gifted vakomana. Dai tese tichiti tikarwara tonorapiwa with these zhing zhongs hapana kana aifa. Isu muno tinofa chero tikarwadziwa nechigunwe chaicho because hamuna varapi. At least I am happy I heard VP Chiwenga appreciating that the Chinese are way ahead and I wonder why these guys do not copy zvakanaka zvinoitwa nevana wevamwe. Dear readers I am constantly saying VP Chiwenga because I do not want you to mistaken him with that other Chiwenga guy anozviti munhu waMwari. Uyu VP Chiwenga haasi a man of God he is just the VP.
I am sure those who saw VP Chiwenga soon after he touched down at Robert Mugabe airport makaonawo zvandakaona. Our VP is in good shape. God bless the Chinese doctors. Havangatadzi kuita miracles when they are remunerated well kwete zvana Magombeyi vasina kana cent. Iye muchinda uya Magombeyi akazodiiko kkkkk. Zanu PF inoita kuti vanhu vaite mafirimu chaiko. I last heard he was kidnapped and poisoned what what dzikatanga kunyebera kuzungaira. Kushaya airova mbama kkkk. The Madhuku strategy seems to have inspired quite a lot. Dai VP Chiwenga akarapiwa with these Magombeyi type of doctors I am sure tingadai takavaka mausoleum kare. Iyo yakazodiiko mausoleum yaBob kkkk. Zimbabwe will never cease kubura zvinopisa just to take the minds of fellow Zimbabweans from bread and butter issues. Zanu PF always does its best to buy time and it always works. We fall for every diversion and we forget our problems. Before I proceed, I want to raise an SOS to God fearing man and women out there that if they do not come to Mapombi’s rescue, ndinofa nezhara kuno kuchitima. Mabanana akaora haachabatiki and ave on high demand because many people nevamwe vanoratidza kutosvika chaiko takurwira Mapombi’s diet. Zvinhu zvaoma and I hope the return of VP Chiwenga will bring some change because ndarwadziwa hama dzangu.
VP Chiwenga looked very fit and ok. Kuita semunhu anga asingamborwari zvake. Mukati ndiye VP Chiwenga watakamboona mazuva aya asara musoro chete? The Chinese can do anything tinogona kutumirwa a Chiwenga look alike kkkkk. Because uyu VP wedu anyanya kutsvuka kubva aita mucolored kudaro. Kanogona kunge kari kamwe kamuChinese kakaiswa nyama kuti kangoita like our beloved VP. I was hoping to hear him say revhorusheni but hazvina kubuda that is why I am doubting. Until I hear him mispronounce some English words, I will be the doubting Thomas. You cannot blame Mapombi for distrusting the Chinese. I wonder why they are so interested in Zimbabwe. It is a shame our leaders are so happy to be friends with these Chinese and this has clouded their judgements. Since when has the Chinese done anything that does not benefit them? The Chinese are not mother Theresas. They exploit every situation to their benefit and I do not think that the way they are getting cosy with our VP is any good news to us. Those with sharp memories like Mapombi’s will recall that VP Chiwenga returned from China to effect a coup on Mugabe. Now VP Chiwenga comes back from China again after spending 4 months allegedly in hospital battling an unknown ailment. He shows up as fit as a fiddle and is not received at the airport with service chiefs, Dugish or Dambudzo. Maybe he just sneaked into the country kkkkk. The climax inozobuda pakuti VP Chiwenga touches down on a Chinese jet and is welcomed by the deputy Chinese ambassador to Zimbabwe Zhao Baogang.
Does this mean that the Chinese knew about the return of our dearly beloved VP and our people didn’t? These Chinese kunotambira VP wedu isu tisipo. Vanoda kuzviita aniko vanhu ava. Ni hao ting bu dong kkkkk ndotaura Chinese kana ndikatsamwa ini. All jokes aside, I do not think VP Chiwenga and Dambudzo are in good books. They are very good at pretending in the public eye but behind the scenes pane chimurenga. I am sure they sleep with one eye open because kurwara kwaVP Chiwenga kune a lot of questions. But I am glad he is ok. This is the man whom we are hoping kuti anetsane naDambudzo poita imwe coup tofara then totambura kwoitwazve imwe coup tichingodaro kusvika Chamisa auya kuZanu PF. I am sure most of us agree kuti Zanu PF ndiwo musangano uchatitonga kusvika kumagumo so handei kumusangano unotonga ana abi angu. Zanu PF is always thinking about future elections and not future generations. Ndiwo musangano watinawo hama dzangu. All they think about is 2023 ED pfee but hapana anombofungawo kuti nyika inenge yava papi by then. Zanu PF is a big disgrace. I am not afraid to say this kana muchida huyai kuno kuChitima tipedzerane. Munoti kurova kwamakaita hama dzedu kuHarare zvinonakidza here. What kind of people are you? Are you animals? How can you brutalise your own people like that. What crime had they committed that warranted such heavy handedness? Mapurisa ityai Mwari mazvinzwa. Zvimwe zvinhu rambai kushandiswa. I am very angry about the way you beat up innocent civilians. Imi mapurisa makanakirwa nelife here munobanha munhu kunge bhora kudaro, to make matters a woman. A society should protect its women and children not to brutalise them like zvamunoita izvi. Tichasangana pakuyambuka. I am going to report all this to VP Chiwenga. The dearly beloved VP will know how to deal with you. This is the man who send Mugabe packing and silenced the mortar mouth Gucci Grace. Angazotadza Dambudzo? That soldier who emptied an AK 47 magazine into the air munoti zviri zvega here. What if he had correctly aimed his gun at a target kkkk. Someone is not safe trust me.
I heard VP Chiwenga came home running when he heard that the streets were being renamed but iye haanawo yake kkkk. Khedha apa hamukwani. Your name is too long. Unoti isu tinongonzi Mapombi Adonha tinopenga here. I heard the Masvingo City Council is contemplating to rename imwe street mutown imomu to Mapombi Adonha and also rename Chitima to Mapombi Adonha trade centre. Mapombi Adonha Street sounds good pane kuti ED Mnangagwa Street. VP Chiwenga sorry makadzoka henyu asi pamastreet hamulumi kkkk. Regai isu vana Mapombi tipihwe ruremekedzo. Who would want a street to be named VP Generari Constantino Guvheya Dominic Nyikadzino Chiwenga. Hazvibhadhari kuita sentence yemazita izvi Cde kkkkk. Dzimwewo dzonzi VP Kembo Cambell Dugish Mohadi and you expect us to name anything after you guys? Tiitirei mushe imi vakomana. I was hoping to take part in the Miss TellZim beauty pageant but handina hangu malooks acho but I want to say kudos to my bosses for putting up such an event. The proceeds will go towards charity and isu vana Mapombi we will be the beneficiaries. Thank you kune wese akabvisa something and I hope I will not be eating rotten bananas on Christmas. TellZim please remember Mapombi is also a charity case. Those who wish to see me l am going to reveal my identity at the modelling show so come and see Mapombi in flesh. Regai ndinokanga zvangu maputi angu for lunch. Mboko imboko.
  

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TellZim News; Keeping it Real...Committed to Tell Zimbabwe. No 39/40 Hellet Street, Masvingo. Call us on +263 39 262 401 email us on: editor@tell.co.zw
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