Melanin Black Queen
No one would ever write down a plan to be broke, weak, less courageous, to be segregated, be a failure or any other negative things. We all have dreams, set goals, and ambitions because we want what is best for us.
However, because we are humans and we don't have the power to control everything that life presents to us, some things don't go as we plan and hope for, regardless of how much we try to make the best out of our lives.
Sometimes when life does not turn out to be what we expected, we feel defeated, feel like failures, we become sad, heartbroken, depressed, we cry, curse and some commit suicide because we feel totally drained. All hopes are shattered as there seem to be no way out from whatever situation we are in. It is during these times that we need someone to hold out hands because we will be too weak to stand by ourselves, a time when we need to be told that it is possible to pick up ourselves up and start moving even if it means crawling but surely one day we shall be walking and eventually run again.
Pull her down!
We are humans, we come from different backgrounds, we have different beliefs and so we respond to difficult situations differently. Some of us are self-motivated so much that when we fall we can pick ourselves up without crying out for help or we are privileged to have people who are always there to protect us, to catch us before we hit the ground so that we don't feel the pain of falling and spare us the embarrassment too.
But then again, there are some of us who have no one to lean on and we tend to cry out for help through certain behaviours which our societies are quick to judge. The same society that is corrupt, too judgemental, too selective of who to help out, too keen to please those we consider to be in our circles or at least "worthy" to be. Needless to say our society is envious, which has to a pull him/her down syndrome.
Negativity and effects on esteem
The world is full of negative things that we should protect each other from as society. Love, unity, contention and care bring peace amongst us because they are richer than the happiness that we think money can give us. There is abuse, hunger, sexual exploitation, poor health, peer pressure, poverty, depression, death; it never rains but pours for us and we only let ourselves cry out loud and express our pain and fears.
Unfortunately, the society we try to seek help from is quick to point fingers, call us names, to create memes and find something to laugh about, to be sarcastic about. Have we ever thought that maybe "kapfambi" is a victim of child sexual abuse and she needs our help as society. An egg is fragile with its thin shell locking its precious contents inside, but as we boil it becomes stronger and even hard to break.
Let us be transformed by the renewal of our minds and seek to help heal our societies.
Be the candle that burns for others
Everyone of us has a space that we can fill so let us be kind and generous as we remember that lighting someone's candle does not switch off your own light.
Edith Wharton says there are two ways we can spread light; either by being the candle or the mirror that reflects it. We all need someone to be there for us in life so we all should learn to accept each other's faults and choose to celebrate our differences to create a healthy environment for everyone to live in within our societies.
Let us not judge anyone because we never know what they have been going through in their lives and what they keep up with just to see each day pass through. Let us not normalise what is not right. Sometimes we do not realise the impact that our negative comments and how they degrade a person's self-esteem and more. Let us be helpers, let us change the world for the better as we remember that doing good will definitely make us feel good too.
Cathrine ‘Melanin Black Queen’ Mashavira is a runway and editorial model and a finalist contestant for Miss Zimbabwe Grand 2020. She is also Development Studies graduate with the Midlands State University (MSU).Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
The views expressed here are her own.